Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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