oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
