Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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