i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
not ubering you a puppy
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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