the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
