Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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