Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
