Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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