i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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