We're facebook friends in real life
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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