Define "chronic" masturbator.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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