I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
