sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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