Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
