im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
