if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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