i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
