I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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