You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she woke up with a sticky ear
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
