I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
