How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
