what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
