John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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