He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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