i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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