Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
