after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
