I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
