I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
