so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
