Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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