So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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