just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize