That's intense
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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