we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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