i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize