I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize