She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
