yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
