love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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