my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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