i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
