shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
