I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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