lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
