I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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