He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Couch. On fire.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
