Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
