it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
how does that bad decision feel?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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