9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
