my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
