I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Houston, we have a blender
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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