Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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