She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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