There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
