girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
