yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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