I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
two words: eviction party
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
