she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
