ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
