I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
