remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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