nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize